Tololy's Box

Veil versus English: Just as silly as you are

One of the most entertaining gigs about cyberspace and the blogosphere is the way you can study people without ever meeting them. You learn a lot that way, maybe not everything, but a lot.

For instance, I log on to chat with strangers and somehow there’s this one person who’s got wits and who throws in some intelligent remarks. It proves to be fun to word play with this fellow then at one curve of the conversation: “Are you veiled for real? How come your English is so good then?”.

How is what I put on my hair related in any way whatsoever to my linguistic abilities? Maybe they expect me to tie my English-speaking tongue to the veil (A self-professed Arab liberal’s fantasy).

Then the conversation shifts in a way as the stranger tries to fathom how in good heaven’s name I can be a girl, veiled, open-minded, and speak English all in the same package. I used to want to understand how so many people make the false connection (or disconnection) between said elements, then I realized it is just the way they think. Crooked.

This Veil versus English and Veil versus Thinking stereotype is absurd and is ironically promoted by the self same people who announce all the time, whenever they get a chance, that they are against stereotypes and are liberal. It seems to me they don’t understand what being liberal is all about, and I find it glaringly obvious to everyone else how shamefully blind they are.

I was once looking for a place to sit down and read by the U of J’s Languages Centre. I went to the spot where I always “hang out” and I found this girl and guy talking just beside it. I wasn’t really bothered by that as I had an exam I needed to study for. The couple seemed your pick of hip, stylish, and modern youth, and they were talking in English. As I approached I heard the girl say “It’s OK, she’s veiled so she won’t understand us“.

And I speak five languages, Ms.Shallow. (My French is kept in check)

Now the Languages Centre at the U of J has this reputation of being the ultimate hangout for the liberal lot (how stereotypical!) but what’s so hilariously pathetic about the affair is that most of those who sport the image are absolutely clueless as to what it means to be liberal and they do some serious damage to it.

Then of course you have the good old blogs where polarization is the fashion in all seasons. You find the awkwardly and excessively religious maniacs (Who oppose girls being online for example and call for a mass massacre of the infidels in the Land of Electronica), and the foolishly and seemingly-liberal (Who unleash their hounds on you should you object to their views and would brand you a backward religious cave man/woman in a second while still maintaining they’re liberal).

The way I see it, it is this black – white distinction that is harming us all. It’s this “I am right, you are wrong” attitude that prevents so-called liberals from accepting veiled and yet open-minded and educated girls, and their opposites from accepting the same specimen. It’s almost like Russia and the US back in the day. I am right, you are wrong – end of discussion and let the world burn.

When I meet people who say they hate the veil, I ask them why they hate it. They often answer on behalf of someone else using stories of girls forced to wear it and stories of girls who are shallow and oppressed for wearing it.

When I meet people who say a woman must wear a black tent from head to toe, I ask them why she should. They often answer on behalf of someone else using stories of girls who were raped and lured into sin and stories of catastrophe to come if women don’t wear tents.

Do you see anything missing in the equation?

I am a veiled girl and they do not speak for me. It is me they are telling stories about and it is me they are fighting over.

Now stop it, take your tags off my back and fight over someone you “own”. I can speak English and I can speak for myself.

Italian films in Amman: Giovani autori del cinema Italiano

The Italian Language and Cultural Centre, Società Dante Alighieri (Comiato di Amman), presents “Giovani autori del cinema Italiano”. The event started on June 19th, and featured several films over the past two months.

The two remaining films I will go to are: I giorni dell’abbandono on September 10th, and Tutto l’amore che c’è on October 3rd, 2006. The event is hosted at Al Hussein Theatre – Ras Al Ain, and the films run at h. 20:00.

Here’s the flyer (Grazie prof. M.L.I):

For more information, you can call Società Dante Alighieri at 4640350 or cell: 079 6345129. The Società organizes events and Italian language and cooking lessons. It’s located in Jabal Al Lweibdeh close to the French Cultural Centre.

A presto!

Hello! Hello!

It’s been a year since Tololy’s Box was born and I can’t believe it’s been that long.

Last summer I decided to start a public blog, this was some sort of “phase two” of my blogging life. I had read that to perfect your writing you need to write on a daily basis, so I grabbed myself an account at Blogspot.com and announced the birth of Tololy’s Box like this:

Hello anonymous readership!
I think I should share some basic info about myself with you…just to let you form a mental image about the person behind the words.

Back in 1984, I celebrated my coming to life with a cry and a slap on the butt.
I think I’m as human as they come. A humble balance of good and bad, saint and sinner…
I am a Jordanian/Circassian young woman…and I study Modern Languages (namely Italian/English/Hebrew/Japanese) … I chose this major simply because it was,at the time that I got to pick,the most reasonable option. I had had a notion some four years earlier that I would like to study Italian… well when I got squeezed I chose it. I am ever so glad I did, this major is culturally enriching in ways I never imagined possible.

I am currently in the states but I’m heading home soon… and it’s odd how much I miss home. It’s true what they say, you don’t realise what you got till it’s gone.
Enough of all the puffed up talk. I love animals. I just terribly adore them, mainly felines & reptiles… chances are I’ll have a cat or a reptile pet any time of the year.

I have a taste for the finer things in life,I love art history and mythology and I always try to read up about them..but you can never read enough now can you? Literature interests me and some of it affects me deeply, I read Arabic and English literature…Oscar Wilde and Khalil Gibran being my all-time favorites.
I must also confess that I enjoy intelligent people immensely…A good brainy conversation is such a rare thing , I’m both blessed and lucky because I came across some extremely intelligent people in my life… and they just keep me going.

Now my blog will probably contain entries that deal with issues on the personal level,be they inner thoughts and/or feelings or some events that I find personal and would like to share with you, my readership. It will contain entries that deal with life in general and others that quote articles or link to websites… I might even post some of my writings here! Just about anything and everything….

I started blogging in January,2004 on a different site. This was the right time to move my blog, I thought, a week ago, and here I am. On a last note,this is an introductory entry so don’t quote me just yet!

The first two comments I got on that entry were from Roba and Lina, and that was such a nice gesture from them.

What’s very fascinating to me is how I have come to grow and document that growth, so to speak, through my Box. I could physically feel the changes my personality and my writing, as well as my choice of topics, have undergone in the space of this year. This is my social experiment.

Do you remember how the old Tololy’s Box used to look like? In case you’re not old school, or you have a poor memory, this will help refresh it for you:

Ah, the scent and feel of the old days, it’s pure beauty. Today I celebrate with you year one of Tololy’s Box’s life, which will extend until I run out of ideas; a highly hypothetical situation like I told Kinzi my friend.

I have been committed to posting one entry a day throughout most of the past year but now with the new pace my own life has taken, the Box will follow a new routine. I will try to blog twice or three times a week, but that is not a rule. I will no longer limit myself in posting rules, that challenge is over and won.

What’s left for me to say is to thank each and every person who has taken the time, at any point, to read into the Box. Your time is a great gift, one I would never have dared ask for. That is not to forget your support and the amazing exchange of knowledge that you afforded me. I am much obliged to all who read my mind, all who commented on it, and all who dropped me their minds.

Welcome to Tololy’s Box, dear anonymous readership.

Amnesty International: Deliberate destruction or "collateral damage"? Israeli attacks on civilian infrastructure

As covered by media, Amnesty International’s August 23rd report on the Israeli aggression war over Lebanon goes out to point Israeli lies to the naked eye of the public. It is imperative that you read this report and understand it well, if need be, print it out and run the numbers time and again in your head. I shall quote some bits of the report, they are not as long as they seem.

“The Israeli Air Force launched more than 7,000 air attacks on about 7,000 targets in Lebanon between 12 July and 14 August, while the Navy conducted an additional 2,500 bombardments.(1) The attacks, though widespread, particularly concentrated on certain areas. In addition to the human toll – an estimated 1,183 fatalities, about one third of whom have been children(2), 4,054 people injured and 970,000Lebanese people displaced(3) – the civilian infrastructure was severely damaged. The Lebanese government estimates that 31 “vital points” (such as airports, ports, water and sewage treatment plants, electrical facilities) have been completely or partially destroyed, as have around 80 bridges and 94 roads.(4) More than 25 fuel stations(5) and around 900 commercial enterprises were hit. The number of residential properties, offices and shops completely destroyed exceeds 30,000.(6) Two government hospitals – in Bint Jbeil and in Meis al-Jebel – were completely destroyed in Israeli attacks and three others were seriously damaged.(7) “

“Israeli government spokespeople have insisted that they were targeting Hizbullah positions and support facilities, and that damage to civilian infrastructure was incidental or resulted from Hizbullah using the civilian population as a “human shield”. However, the pattern and scope of the attacks, as well as the number of civilian casualties and the amount of damage sustained, makes the justification ring hollow. The evidence strongly suggests that the extensive destruction of public works, power systems, civilian homes and industry was deliberate and an integral part of the military strategy, rather than “collateral damage” – incidental damage to civilians or civilian property resulting from targeting military objectives. “

On the topic of war crimes, and Israel in this field has not been cheap in granting us material, AL states that:

“It is also forbidden to use starvation as a method of warfare, or to attack, destroy, remove or render useless objects indispensable to the survival of the civilian population. Some of the targets chosen – water pumping stations and supermarkets, for example – raise the possibility that Israel may have violated the prohibition against targeting objects indispensable to the survival of the civilian population.

Israel has asserted that Hizbullah fighters have enmeshed themselves in the civilian population for the purpose of creating “human shields”. While the use of civilians to shield a combatant from attack is a war crime, under international humanitarian law such use does not release the opposing party from its obligations towards the protection of the civilian population.

Many of the violations examined in this report are war crimes that give rise to individual criminal responsibility. They include directly attacking civilian objects and carrying out indiscriminate or disproportionate attacks. People against whom there is prima facie evidence of responsibility for the commission of these crimes are subject to criminal accountability anywhere in the world through the exercise of universal jurisdiction.”

The report looks on the grave damage caused by Israel in all aspects of life in Lebanon; water facilities,ports, hospitals,roads and bridges,airports, communications,civilian homes, electricity and fuel supply, and the environment.

On blockades:

“Any vehicle of any kind travelling south of the Litani River will be bombarded, on suspicion of transporting rockets, military equipment and terrorists.”

Leaflet addressed to “the Lebanese people”, signed the “State of Israel”, 7 August 2006(35)

Here’s the link to the full Amnesty International report:
Israel/Lebanon
Deliberate destruction or “collateral damage”? Israeli attacks on civilian infrastructure

Need I remind you that Israeli planes violated Lebanese skies, despite the issuance of the UN Security Council resolution 1701 on August 11th, 2006, which in points 3 and 5:

- “Emphasizes the importance of the extension of the control of the
Government of Lebanon over all Lebanese territory in accordance with the
provisions of resolution 1559 (2004) and resolution 1680 (2006), and of the relevant
provisions of the Taif Accords, for it to exercise its full sovereignty”

…and

“Also reiterates its strong support, as recalled in all its previous relevant
resolutions, for the territorial integrity, sovereignty and political independence of
Lebanon within its internationally recognized borders, as contemplated by the
Israeli-Lebanese General Armistice Agreement of 23 March 1949″

On that, read this (published in the UN News Centre on August 19th,2006):

“The Secretary-General is deeply concerned about a violation by the Israeli side of the cessation of hostilities as laid out in Security Council resolution 1701statement. Adopted on 11 August, that text mandated a halt to the fighting which took effect three days later.

There have also been several air violations by Israeli military aircraft, according to the UN Interim Force in Lebanon (UNIFIL), which is helping to support and coordinate the Israeli withdrawal.

Mr. Annan said violations of Security Council resolution 1701 such as the Israeli raid today “endanger the fragile calm that was reached after much negotiation and undermine the authority of the Government of Lebanon.”

Now, give a round of applause to your incompetent media, ineffectual leaders, and dwindling humanity.

Behold: Casualties of war

A very honest poem – November 27th, 2005

Tips for caring of freshly pierced ears

I’m sharing what little tips I have with anyone who has just recently gotten an ear pierced, or is planning to. This all comes from personal experience, to put more advice out there on this subject since I realize how hard it is to find practical suggestions online. I should note that this advice is mainly for cartilage piercings, lobe piercings tend to heal very fast and do not hurt half as much.

Prephase:

1- If you’re planning on getting pierced, try to do it before the weekend. This would help you avoid additional stress or pain. Going to school or work could cause additional stress you could do without. If you are a veiled girl, you should make this your top priority. Try to avoid putting anything on your head for the first days, getting pierced right before the weekend is a great idea. Stay home and let your ears adjust.

2- This will hurt. No matter how many people tell you they didn’t feel a thing, and I realize people’s pain tolerance levels are different, but you can expect at least some “uncomfortable” feelings. Be prepared and be determined; initial throbbing/redness in your ears will occur once your body feels the shock and this may last for some time. It’s all worth it though.

3- Think very well before you go get pierced. You would not want to go through the pain only to remove your jewellery a month later, now would you?

4- Have the person who’s piercing you mark the place they will pierce, or you mark it for them to show them what you want. Don’t assume that they “know”, they don’t. Make sure the dots are aligned properly as you want them, if you’re getting multiple piercings, also make sure none of the dots is too close to the outer edge of your cartilage (that hurts and causes problems).

Postphase:

1- Don’t touch your ears and avoid bumping into anything ear-first (Big mistake). Keep your hair away from your ears because if you don’t your hair will get stuck in the jewellery and removing it will hurt.

2- If you’re in too much pain after you get pierced, put ice cubes on your ears as that will ease the throbbing. Pain killers work as well.

3- Don’t even consider cleaning your ears with anything but very gentle soap and water. No alcohol, it will cause inflammation and unnecessary pain.

4- Don’t sleep on your sides, obviously. This will take some time for you to get used to but you will have to cope with your new situation. It will be a couple of weeks, up to a month or two, before you can sleep on your sides and on your ears again.

5- If you’re a veiled girl, you will go through double the trouble because of the pressure the veil puts on your newly pierced ears. Try to wear very loose veils and try to minimize the pressure.

6- Once your ears hurt less, which will be in a month’s time or so, you could put in smaller jewellery. That actually helps since the holes will shrink and heal faster (unless you’re stretching). Personally, I change from the thickish medical earrings to much smaller gauge rings as soon as I can even if the process hurts a lot. What works for me might not work for you, but that works brilliant for me.

7- Once your ears heal totally, you can experiment with jewellery. But initially you must stick to sterling silver, gold, or platinum because they usually don’t cause irritation.

I hope this helps you make a better decision and care better for your ears. Lovely sparkles, shine!

Applaud Arab Americans

From ancient times Arabs have been an integral part of the world culture and knowledge base. Arabs invented the cipher and decimal system, scientific and mathematical breakthroughs in theory and inventions. There are about 3 million Arab Americans. As a community, they have demonstrated loyalty, inventiveness, and courage on behalf of the United States for over 100 years. Kahlil Gibran was an artist, sculptor, poet and philosopher, who was also the original author of the words made famous by President John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country”.

- Source

Some websites you should be checking:

- NITLE Arab World Project - This web site aims to bring a wide variety of resources on Arab culture and civilization to your computer

- The Arab American National Musuem

- Arab & Arab American Culture

What's missing in our schools?

I’m writing about the five most important elements missing from Arab educational curricula, and I would like to see if what I have thought of so far is accurate enough (Think Jordan for now):

1- Skills of debate
2- Scientific research
3- Sex education
4- Practical, hands-on, active learning
5- Therein lies the puzzle — Help needed on this one.

Any thoughts?

You fit into me by Margaret Atwood

You Fit Into Me

You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

هل كان الفلاح بدوياً؟

إذا كانت الحضارة أصلها بيت الفلاح, فما هو أصل الفلاح و ماذا كان قبل أن يكون له بيت؟