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Archive for July 2008

Critique: Local Short Films

In Culture Arabia, Jordan on July 31, 2008 at 3:56 pm

A couple of nights ago I accidentally ended up at an event at the Royal Film Commission because my friend who was hanging out with me at the time wanted to go and the affair sounded interesting so we went together. There was a screening of three short Jordanian movies by local talents, and we watched all three standing up because there were more people present than chairs. The films were: Al Balkooneh, Hara 13, and Bitter Pineapples. Unfortunately, I don’t have the names of the directors.

The open-air event was well organized and I generally liked it, but I noticed the following things about the films themselves:

1- All three of them were set up in old Ammani neighborhoods, with a touch of romantic poverty.
2- All three of them featured lower-middle class to lower-class characters struggling either in love or family relations.
3- All three films’ scripts did not come across as convincing to me. There were Bedouin characters in one film where the setting was an Ammani neighborhood, and dialog in all three scripts was not true to life. For example, in two of the three movies there were “zo3ran” characters who really did not sound the part to me. I am guessing that because there is a significant class distance between the films’ staffs and the characters in these films that this was so. Plus, I know too much street language to be convinced with anything that distant from the real thing.
4- The stories, although set in lower-middle class neighborhoods and featuring fit characters, carried with them the controversies and concerns of their upper-middle and upper class makers. As such, there were some gaps in the stories which rendered them untrue to their settings.

Overall, however, I was impressed with the motivation these young film makers had and with the quality of their work. It’s so refreshing to feel that there is a cultural renaissance in the making here in Jordan, but for it to really be representative of us all as Jordanians and Arabs, it has to involve people from all classes and not just privileged upper class talents who can afford to realize their artistic visions.

Moving On

In Life on July 29, 2008 at 11:03 pm

So I took the GRE a couple of days ago, and it is safe to say that that chapter of my life is a-over. I’ve been getting used to the idea of not having to study, and the irony of the fact that I scored better in quantitative section as compared to the verbal section although I guessed aggressively in the final section of math. Go figure.

Now I move on. Finally!

Arabic Wordle

In T Play Box on July 26, 2008 at 3:37 pm

A bit of the Arabic section of this blog via Wordle:

<a href=”http://wordle.net/gallery/wrdl/89922/Arabic”
<img src=”http://wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/89922/Arabic”

The complete Quran:

<a href=”http://wordle.net/gallery/wrdl/89952/The_Quran”
<img src=”http://wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/89952/The_Quran”

The Quran via Wordle generated single letters and not a single word resulted. Weird, right? Click on the images to see them bigger. They’re beautiful.

Animal Drama

In V for Video on July 25, 2008 at 12:27 pm

This will entertain…

Dramatic lemur:

Dramatic chipmunk:

The Camels, Again

In Bizarro, Jordan on July 24, 2008 at 7:57 pm

Remember the camels? They are still around. Only now, they actually roam the streets surrounding where they graze and they some times defy passing cars by posing in the middle of the street. I don’t think this is legal.

I know how popular the camels are with you guys, so I took a couple of pictures with my phone for your viewing pleasure. If this sounds like I am confirming the stereotype of Arabs as camel-herding people, then let me unequivocally say that I am as amused as anyone by these REALLY big creatures being loose like this very close to where I live. It’s bizarre.

Wordle: Let’s Toy With Words

In T Play Box on July 24, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Here’s an engaging “word toy” called Wordle.

Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like. You can print them out, or save them to the Wordle gallery to share with your friends.

I tried to create my own word cloud but I am having a bit of a problem with my Java settings. You try it and share with me!

Movie Time

In Bits & pieces on July 23, 2008 at 11:35 am

When I started my vacation almost three weeks ago, I bought a bunch of pirated DVDs of the latest movies and watched them in two days. For lack of a better subject today I will talk about these movies:

1- What Happens in Vegas: Crap. Cameron Diaz wears nice dresses in it though. I am envious.

2- Sex and the City: Double crap. This is the quintessential chick-flick type movie which I abhor but enjoy all the same because it really doesn’t demand any thinking on my part. It basically encourages conspicuous consumption and frames it so that it appears to be the omega of every achieved woman’s life. Let’s not forget that it also portrays marriage as the ultimate goal even for the most successful, independent women out there. Bullshit. Even the shoes in the movie are meant to slow us down. Fergie’s song is good though.

3- 27 Dresses: Triple crap. What a sucky movie. Another chick flick but one I did not enjoy at all. Stupid dresses too. Katherine Heigl is not my type.

4- The Incredible Hulk: Good movie! Yay! Cheers for the green giant! I love Edward Norton and Liv Tyler. The movie kinda lost its momentum at the end though. Oh, and it also featured the man-macho woman-fragile theme and shits like that. That was not cool.

5- You Don’t Mess With the Zohan: Hmm. I am a bit puzzled how to review this one. On the one hand, it has a good theme of coexistence between Arabs and Zionists. On the other hand, it has some images of Arabs which I did not like. For example, you have the shouting crazy fanatic armed Arab and then you have the sophisticated and disciplined Zionist who beats the Arab. Also, I think I noticed they claimed Hummus was an Israeli dish. HELL-O? Hummus is very Arab but yeah Jews in the U.S. and elsewhere normally claim Hummus and Falafel are their own. That’s basically stealing cultural heritage, made grave by the conflicts between the two cultures. Unforgivable.

Thus ends my review of these movies. Let’s hope that I will have something better to write about tomorrow.

Tmptd

In Love on July 22, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Im tmptd to do ths agn. Also knwn as asylm hair…its the bst.

Bestest, Baddest Song, Ever

In V for Video on July 21, 2008 at 7:28 pm

This song has been my favorite since I was in school and couldn’t quite get what the lyrics said except for “you and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals” and had no internet access to google the rest. I absolutely love this song to bits. But you, if you don’t like funny/dirty songs, don’t click play.

Awesome song, no? Bloodhound Gang’s The Bad Touch lyrics here.

اقرأ

In عربي on July 21, 2008 at 8:37 am

سؤال اليوم

كيف تعلم طفلاً أن يقرأ و ثم تقنع نفسك أنه لن يقرأ إلا ما تحب؟

List of Books

In Bits & pieces on July 20, 2008 at 3:21 pm

The title of this post says it all. This is a post that lists the books I bought today from the Amman Book Fair, a list I had promised Lulu:

1- Aesop’s Fables
2-الجذور العربية للرأسمالية الأوروبية- جين هيك
أعمدة الغبار – إلياس فركوح-3
البحث عن وليد مسعود – جبرا ابراهيم جبرا-4
في نقد الحاجة إلى ماركس – سالم حميش-5
الثلج يأتي من النافذة – حنا مينة-6
رفاعة الطهطاوي رائد التنوير في العصر الحديث – محمد عمارة-7
ذاكرة الجسد – أحلام مستغانمي-8
9- The Voyage of The Beagle – Darwin
10- Rights of Man – Thomas Paine
11- The Social Contract – Jean-Jacques Rosseau

Now I am broke. Please help me recover financially by clicking on the ads on this site.

Monk Metal

In Bizarro on July 19, 2008 at 12:05 pm

Here’s an offbeat news bit for you:

Heavy metal monk in second album

At first glance, Cesare Bonizzi looks like the archetypal Capuchin monk – round-faced, stout, with twinkling eyes and a long flowing white beard. But beneath his robes beats a heart of metal.

Brother Cesare is the lead singer in a heavy metal band which has just released its second album.

A former missionary in the Ivory Coast, he lives in a small friary in the Milan hinterland.

The 62-year-old monk’s love affair with heavy metal began when he attended a Metallica concert some 15 years ago.

“I was overwhelmed and amazed by the sheer energy of it” he says.

Brother Metal

Hard rock and heavy metal have, over the years, been criticised as the work of the devil.

It’s a claim which Brother Cesare, also known as Brother Metal, says is nonsense.

He started playing and recording cassettes, firstly with “lighter” metal music, but gradually he realised that what really moved him was the hard core.

The members of his band were at first skeptical at the idea of teaming up with a Capuchin monk but their doubts soon evaporated.

“Five minutes after meeting Brother Cesare I decided to go ahead, because he manages to convey so much energy, that other musicians and youngsters often don’t manage to express,” lead guitarist, Cesare Zanotti, told Reuters.

The video is in Italian, but you can watch the Metal Monk singing in it. Rock on, Frate Metallo!

The Box Gets Reviewed

In Metablog on July 18, 2008 at 8:56 pm

The Box got reviewed at Araby Blogs, a new Arabic social network which I believe revolves around blogs for the most part. Here’s the rave:

We would like to introduce you to one of the most intriguing and articulate bloggers in the Arab world, Tololy. She is a Jordanian-Circassian woman living in Amman, Jordan who is always speaking her mind and sharing her criticisms on various topics.

Moreover, Tololy earned her status of being the first reviewed blogger on Araby Blogs due her artistic talent, articulation, and feminism [sic]. “The Box”, as she often calls it, is a mesmerizing and informative site.

Sweet! I am flattered and I wish Araby Blogs success and prosperity and everything nice. Thanks Araby Blogs!

An Immodest Indulgence: Book Orgy

In Jordan, Love on July 17, 2008 at 1:16 pm

If you have not yet been to the Amman Book Fair, you must go as soon as possible. The event ends on the 25th, and it is hosted at the Arab Society College on a hilltop opposite the Jordan University campus. Make sure to get cold water with you when you go because it is hot there, and dress lightly. There is a designated parking space outside the premises, and the fair is very organized like the previous one, but on a larger scale.

Ah. How I love books! I had a terrific time this morning when I went to the Amman Book Fair with my sisters, bookish women like me, and we spent whatever was left of our salaries on books, sweet seductive books! There were awesome deals in the UBCC stand, the Ahliyya stand, and MES Publishing stand; the three houses where we splurged the most.

I couldn’t get every book I wanted but I got a handsome portion of what I liked. My selections ranged from Orhan Pamuk to Nawal Sadaawi to Ibsen to Nietzsche to Son’allah Ibrahim. I am going again next week, and then I plan to buy works by Freud, Darwin, Spinoza, Marx, and Edgar Allan Poe, among others.

I was delighted today to realize that I am not starting with nothing in my ongoing library-building endeavors, that I actually have a respectable collection in my library and my mind so I do not have to start from scratch. That I found out by the number of books I snubbed because I have already read. Chasing knowledge is a fool’s occupation, true, but it’s an honorable martyrdom. My problem now is that there is not enough space in my room to hold the results of my bibliophilia.

Addendum: The prices at the three stands I mentioned were the best. At UBCC there are books for one-two-three JDs only, at Ahliyya I bought all of the Arabic titles for half the price written on the cover, and at MES (Al Nothom Al Haditha) I bought all the blue-covers for a little less than the cover price, and in all cases you find books for less than you would if you are going to buy them from regular bookshops. I can’t say the same about other stands though, at Collins books were more expensive than at Prime Mega Store, so you need to have an idea about prices before fishing for your wallet.

How to Become a Writer Or, Have You Earned This Cliche?

In Literature on July 16, 2008 at 9:47 am

A brilliant short story/article fusion on how to become a writer, by Lorrie Moore, dated March 3, 1985:

First, try to be something, anything, else. A movie star/astronaut. A movie star/ missionary. A movie star/kindergarten teacher. President of the World. Fail miserably. It is best if you fail at an early age – say, 14. Early, critical disillusionment is necessary so that at 15 you can write long haiku sequences about thwarted desire. It is a pond, a cherry blossom, a wind brushing against sparrow wing leaving for mountain. Count the syllables. Show it to your mom. She is tough and practical. She has a son in Vietnam and a husband who may be having an affair. She believes in wearing brown because it hides spots. She’ll look briefly at your writing then back up at you with a face blank as a doughnut. She’ll say: ”How about emptying the dishwasher?” Look away. Shove the forks in the fork drawer. Accidentally break one of the freebie gas station glasses. This is the required pain and suffering. This is only for starters.

My favorite part is the end of the how-to:

Quit classes. Quit jobs. Cash in old savings bonds. Now you have time like warts on your hands. Slowly copy all of your friends’ addresses into a new address book.

Vacuum. Chew cough drops. Keep a folder full of fragments.

An eyelid darkening sideways.

World as conspiracy.

Possible plot? A woman gets on a bus.

Suppose you threw a love affair and nobody came.

At home drink a lot of coffee. At Howard Johnson’s order the cole slaw. Consider how it looks like the soggy confetti of a map: where you’ve been, where you’re going – ”You Are Here,” says the red star on the back of the menu.

Occasionally a date with a face blank as a sheet of paper asks you whether writers often become discouraged. Say that sometimes they do and sometimes they do. Say it’s a lot like having polio.

”Interesting,” smiles your date, and then he looks down at his arm hairs and starts to smooth them, all, always, in the same direction.

Read it all here.

I miss writing.

Mosaic Class: Done!

In Life on July 13, 2008 at 9:41 pm

I am finally done with my mosaic class. The lion I made was unveiled today and it turned out to be a fine imitation of the original Byzantine model. I never expected the class would take me 20 days to complete, and I never guessed that I would be so utterly fed up by the end of it precisely because it took forever and I had other plans. I used to think I am a patient person, and I still do, but now I know my limitations. I am too practical for mosaic puzzles regardless of their artistic merit — at least that’s my immediate impression. I might consider doing another mosaic after I am done with the GRE, for now the stress is too heavy to enjoy artsy diversions.

And here he is, King of the Jungle, after being flipped over to reveal the level side:

From Mosaic Class …

All bow to majesty.

NEW! Noor T-shirts!

In Jordan, Opinion on July 12, 2008 at 7:18 am

I was at the mall the other day and I saw these kids’ t-shirts featuring Noor and Mohannad, the stars of the ultra-popular Turkish soap opera currently dominating airtime on Arab TVs, and I thought “You’ve GOT to be kidding me!“

It’s one thing to be fascinated by the characters or the plot of the story as an adult (you’re old enough to decide for yourself what to like and what to dislike, and if you ask me you’ve got poor taste in drama if you like Noor, but whatever), but to have children wear pictures of some actors who play mature roles is beyond unacceptable. The trouble is that children, especially young girls, are captivated by the show as well, due to the influence of the adults in their families or through peer pressure. This is sick and it says a lot about the depravity of our society.

And for good measure, Bab Al-Hara characters also had their own t-shirts. I am dreading Ramadan…

All of this reminds me of the Cassandra mania, which was a mid-90s social obsession with a Mexican soap opera with Arabic voice overs. One of my school friends at the time wrote in my notebook “You’re prettier than Cassandra,” and she signed her words with a sticker featuring Cassandra herself, with her long black hair and shoulderless and sleeveless white top. Cassandra skirts, colorful wrinkled gypsy-type long skirts, were all over the market and most girls wore them for a year or two. Cassandra’s lover, Ignazio (?), was the epitome of masculine appeal, as is this Turkish character Mohannad these days.

It seems to me that our society is programmed to fall in love with TV dramas every now and then, and it goes out of its way to prove its devotion. Heck, Jordan even hosted Noor and Mohannad the other day! If this is not an indication of some chronic voidness, I don’t know what is.

The World’s Top Public Intellectuals

In Bits & pieces on July 11, 2008 at 2:57 pm

Full results from Prospect Magazine.

1 Fethullah Gülen

2 Muhammad Yunus

3 Yusuf Al-Qaradawi

4 Orhan Pamuk

5 Aitzaz Ahsan

6 Amr Khaled

7 Abdolkarim Soroush

8 Tariq Ramadan

9 Mahmood Mamdani

10 Shirin Ebadi

11 Noam Chomsky

12 Al Gore

13 Bernard Lewis

14 Umberto Eco

15 Ayaan Hirsi Ali

16 Amartya Sen

17 Fareed Zakaria

18 Garry Kasparov

19 Richard Dawkins

20 Mario Vargas Llosa

“When Prospect and Foreign Policy drew up our list of the world’s top 100 public intellectuals a few weeks ago, none of us expected a Turkish Sufi cleric, barely known in the west, to sweep to victory. Nor did we expect every name in the top ten would be from a Muslim background. (Noam Chomsky, who won the last poll in 2005, led the west in 11th place this time.)” More here.

Pretty groovy!

Dawkins on Darwin

In V for Video on July 11, 2008 at 10:43 am

Richard Dawkins explains Darwin’s life, thinking, and achievements in a captivating narrative style:

This is the first part of a chain of five episodes of Dawkin’s account, you can find the rest here.

Thursday’s Pickings

In Bits & pieces on July 10, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Here’s a good trio of links which I found to be interesting and relevant today, you might enjoy them too:

1- Can Islam accommodate democracy, and can democracy accommodate Islam? An article by Benjamin Barber.

2- Why Muslim “profiling” by the FBI will disenfranchise Americans and backfire. An article by Juan Cole.

3- Review of Allegra Stratton’s book “Muhajababes,” which is an account of emerging socio-religious trends in the Arab world. A review by Laura Miller, complete with a picture of Haifa Wehbe and a profile of Amr Khaled (who was in Jordan the other day).

Gender Equality Campaign in Jordan

In Jordan, Wonder Woman on July 10, 2008 at 8:27 am

I got this press release in my inbox from a Jordanian gender equality campaign, as did other bloggers- I am sure, and I felt compelled to spread the word:

Gender Equality, Made in Jordan

Young Jordanians using new methods for new audiences

Amman 5th July 2008-As part of a local initiative, groups of young Jordanians have been seen in various areas of Amman handing out badges, stickers and posters. This is all part of the Gender Equality Campaign, which is just being launched in Jordan. A number of local Jordanian NGOs have cooperated with some individuals and companies from the private sector to help support this campaign and the young Jordanians working on it.

The Gender Equality Campaign was created as part of a homegrown initiative by a group of young Jordanians who are committed to the idea of justice and equality for the women and men of Jordan. The main purpose of this campaign is to educate the public in Jordan about women’s rights and to mobilize the community to take action to address this human rights issue in Jordan.

The main component of this campaign is to provide a channel for dialogue for people to discuss this issue in Jordan. The foundation of this new channel is to target all aspects of Jordanian society, taking the issue of gender equality outside the walls of conferences, workshops and offices.

This channel is being opened by the young campaigners, using the logo that they created. The logo of the campaign illustrates the wishes, hopes and ambitions of the young Jordanian campaigners. It is a symbol that represents the rights, duties, and dreams for us all, pink for women, blue for men.

As part of the Gender Equality Campaign, permission was gained by one of the supporting local NGOs from the Greater Amman Municipality to install two sets of monuments with its logo. One is on Tabarbour Circle, the other on Middle East Circle in Al-Wihdat. The hope of the young Jordanian campaigners is to gain permission to install similar monuments in other areas around Amman in the near future.

-The End-

Gender Equality Campaign

This campaign was created as part of an initiative by a group of young Jordanians who are committed to the idea of justice and equality for the women and men of Jordan. The main purpose of the Gender Equality Campaign is to educate the public in Jordan about Women’s Rights and to mobilize the community to take action to address this human rights issue in Jordan.

The vision for the campaign is to increase the level of awareness and commitment to women’s rights in Jordanian society. Furthermore, the mission is to create a channel for a broad based dialogue about the rights and roles of women in Jordan.

Contact Details:

Lulwa Al-Kilani Dina Liddawi

Gender Equality Campaigner Gender Equality Campaigner

Email: genderequalityc@gmail.com

Telephone: +962 77 90 6 90 40 Telephone: +962 77 9999 187

It’s positively refreshing to see a local effort being made by local women and men eager to improve the stereotypical gender images in Jordan. Oh and by the way, I saw one of the monuments the other day while I was driving: it is basically two columns, one blue and one pink, and the blue column is taller than the pink one. ” It is a symbol that represents the rights, duties, and dreams for us all, pink for women, blue for men.”

If you would like to get in on the fun, join the campaigners in downtown Amman on July 12th, where they will speak to people and spread the word, which is so groovy. You have the contact details of the campaign, so don’t hesitate to get in touch if you need directions or have any questions!

Go, gender equality, go!

This Summer: Now You See It, Now You Don’t

In Life on July 9, 2008 at 8:55 pm

My summer is turning out to be so different from what I had planned it to be. Both plans A and B did not work, and now I find myself stuck in some plan X which I did not devise or even remotely consider as an option. Life threw it at me while I was literally making other plans. I don’t like it when my plans don’t work out.

I was looking forward to this summer as an enhanced version of last summer; I was supposed to go to New York City and spend at least a month there, where I would be able to explore all the exotic places I did not see last summer. I was also supposed to get my navel pierced again, which was really the most major reason behind my now defunct visit. Speaking of which, does anyone know where navel piercings are made in Amman by professional artists? Please let me know if you do.

Two things ruined my summer: finances and pride. It seems that these two flow together like twins in my life, and it’s funny but they complement each other. I am too proud and too broke, therefore, I am spending my summer here in Amman. Studying. During my vacation. Which I snatched from work. And not going to the pool. Or having my usual summer adventures.

Apologia: my summer isn’t that bad. At least I am not going to work! I’m also reading and relaxing and I am spending my time in Madaba where I am making the most handsome transgendered Byzantine lion mosaic, and I believe I am gaining weight. Oh, and I taught myself how to make cream sauce tortellini, pesto cream sauce pasta, and taco. I like to think of myself as Gordon Ramsay’s feminine counterpart, minus the constant cussing and the blond hair.

Just now it occurred to me that my vacation will end the day I sit for the GRE. Now that would be an unwelcome event, but it’s inevitable. Technically speaking, then, my vacation will have been spent studying. After my vacation I might start a second job. A month or so later, I will go back to regular school. Why am I doing this to myself, you ask? Because I know of nothing else to do, plus I have this obsessive fear of time which compels me to do as much as possible all at the same time so I can beat the clock. Not healthy. This is the last year I will spend doing a ton of things at the same time, I hope, and after this year is done, I will fling it to oblivion. I despise 2008.

تفكيري موّجه

In Wonder Woman, عربي on July 8, 2008 at 9:52 pm

تبين لي في الأيام القليلة الماضية أن على الإنسانة أن تعتمد على ذاتها كلياً إن هي أرادت أن تحقق ما تحلم به, و ليست هذه الفكرة جديدة طبعاً و لا أنا اخترعتها, بل اضطررت أن أتبين صدقها بنفسي بعد محاولتي أن أسلك طريقاً ملتوياً لأحقق أحد الأمور المهمة جداً بالنسبة إلي. حاولت أن أوفق بين ما يريده المجتمع متمثلاً بعائلتي و ما أريده أنا شخصياً, و هما أمران على طرفي نقيض تقريباً أو لنقل أن أحدهما يود لو يلغي الآخر. حاولت أن أحلل الأمور و أن أتفاوض مع نفسي و مع المجتمع لأصل إلى الحل الأمثل, لكنني إلى الآن لم أستطع الوصول إليه. هل يكون الصراع شرطاً لتحقيق الأحلام؟ هل يكون التنازل عن شيء مهم طريقاً للوصول إلى شيء آخر مهم؟ من يصنع هذه المفارقات؟

لمداواة المشكلة مؤقتاً انصرفت إلى القراءة, فأنا الآن في إجازتي السنوية التي انتزعتها انتزاعاً من رئيسي في العمل و الذي كان يريد أن يقسطها لي أسبوعاً أسبوعاً. قرأت في الشهر الماضي خمس كتب أربعة منها لناشطات نسويات عربيات: نوال السعداوي (أوراقي…حياتي بأجزائه الثلاث) و فاطمة المرنيسي (هل أنتم محصنون ضد الحريم؟), و كتاب أيريك فروم “فن الوجود” , مما حدا بأختي أن تعلن أن فكري متحيز و موجه. أظنها تعني أنني أركز في الفترة الحالية على قراءة ما يثري معرفتي عن أوضاع و شؤون المرأة و بالأخص المرأة العربية. أين العيب في ذلك؟ لماذا تعتبر أختي أن فكري “متحيز” لأنني أريد أن أتعلم ما يخصني و يخصها بالدرجة الأولى كوننا نساء عربيات؟ لم لا تريد الكثير من النساء معرفة موضع الخلل في الواقع المؤلم الذي يعشنه يومياً و يفضلن أن يتذمرن, أو لا يتذمرن و هو الأخطر ؟

لا أفهم هذا الأسلوب في التفكير, فبالنسبة لي العلم بالشيء خير من الجهل فيه, حتى لو كان العلم يزيد حياتي صعوبة فأصيح نزقة و لا أحب التعاطي مع من لا يستطيعون أن يقيموا أفكارهم على أسس مقنعة و دلائلية. أصبحت أقاطع شيوخ التلفاز و أفراد العائلة و الأصدقاء عندما يخص النقاش المرأة التي يتكلم الجميع باسمها إلا هي, و ينتهي الأمر بي أحياناً أن أسمع بعض الكلمات غير اللطيفة لإسكاتي. لكنني لا أمانع بل أحب ذلك لأنه يثبت لي أن حديثي لا بد و أنه قد أراهم جانباً من الحقيقة لم يألفوه, و المقاومة في هذه الحالة أمر طبيعي..أو ربما أخذتني العزة بالإثم فتوهمت ذلك. لا يهم.

أنا لست متحيزة و لا فكري موجه, أنا بكل بساطة أحاول أن أفهم واقعي اعتمادأ على المعطيات التي لا يمكن تجاهلها: أنني امرأة, أنني أفكر, أنني أعيش في بلد عربي اسمه الأردن, أنني مزيج من حضارتين إحداهما عربية و الأخرى شركسية تتعاملان مع الأمور باختلاف واضح مما يشكل أزمة لي للتوفيق بينهما, و أنني لا أحب التعصب و أنني أعاني من نظرة المجتمع لي و تعاطيه معي على أساس أنني امرأة و لست إنساناً مجرداً, فلو توقف المجتمع عن النظر إلي بمنظار ضيق و جنسي كهذا لما كان هناك سبب يدعوني للتركيز على قضايا المرأة, و التي هي نصف قضايا الإنسانية. أين اللامعقول في ذلك؟ لم يرفض السواد الأعظم من الناس هذا الموقف مع أنه مبرر جداً لا بل ضروري و طبيعي؟

Reload

In Life on July 4, 2008 at 2:34 pm

Does anyone else feel that my latest posts have been about announcing things to the world? “I’m still alive,” “I can still write in English,” “I am taking a mosaic class,” etc. Now I ask myself, does anyone care about these trivial things except me? Uh, I didn’t think so either. Why people continue to follow this space is therefore all the more amusing.

So, to sum my absence up, all the above italicized announcements still hold true. I am physically and mentally alive, although if you consider my current occupation you could argue otherwise. I am currently studying for the GRE (Graduate Record Examination), and let me tell you, I only feel alive when I stop studying for it. Why anyone would devise an exam that literal and absolutely sneaky is beyond me. Actually, sadism is a very plausible explanation. Preparing for the exam is leaving me in a state of constant psychological agitation: I keep convincing myself that I can do it, that I will not be cowed by it, that I will crack it, that I will not be utterly devastated if I get a bad total, and so on. I have become my own shrink/coach/morale-booster/teacher/everything.

Evidently, I can still write in English. The English in the GRE is a whole different language altogether though. It’s basically all the words you have never seen or used and will never see or use in your normal daily life as an average citizen of the world whose native tongue is not GREish. I am currently resisting the temptation of using a few words that I particularly like, such as peccadillo and lachrymose and pulchritudinous, and it is a difficult task.

I’m never impressed with big exams. Back in my Tawjihi days, I used to stay up all night chatting after I was done studying, which normally took me a maximum of 5 hours per subject. I never locked myself up at home for the sake of an exam and I could never understand why/how other people do it, and by the end of my studying I usually got so fed up with the material that I went to the exam with such an indifferent attitude that allowed me not to panic, contrary to other students’ temperaments at the time.

The other major exam I took during my lifetime was the TOEFL, and I did not prepare for that one at all. Admittedly, it was more challenging than I thought it would be, but it went smoothly all the same. College finals also made a lot of sense to me and I enjoyed them most of the time. I suppose I was born an exam animal. I hope I behave similarly in the GRE and do well in it too.

In other news, my mosaic lion is done:

I think he looks a bit goofy with his boobs and all, but it’s not my fault that the original featured the same organs (I am but an imitator!). I felt so proud when I finished working on him because it took me exactly fourteen days to accomplish this painstaking artistic feat, and it was an experience that not only taught me how to cut stone to place in angles or circles, but also how to be patient and literally look at the big picture. The mosaic itself is not done yet, as I still have to work on the background, but it’s safe to say that the hardest parts are over.

In other other news, I have been reading super extra lately. That and studying have been keeping me away from The Box. I am also taking time off from work currently, so I can dedicate my time to studying and relaxing. I can’t believe it has been almost three years since I took time off from work. That translates to the fact that I have never taken more than a week off from work since I held my first job three years ago. That’s just insane. What’s more surprising is that it took quite a struggle for me to snatch my legal annual vacation from my boss. I’m not even that popular at work!

That is my news, not that you should bother with any of it, and I have just thrown it in cyberspace for all to enjoy. And now it’s time for my siesta.