Countdown to Annihilation

Just today I was telling a friend that we all should be nuked. The idea keeps haunting me as the ultimate antidote to our malicious, parasitic existence. I think it even when I try to be optimistic, which is in itself a failed endeavor every time.

But I have some news. In just nine days, the Large Hadron Collider will be switched on, and unless the legal case against this action is won it definitely will rock our world. Assuming someone makes a mistake somewhere, or leaves an inch of space unchecked by “strict safety assessment measures”, or is in any way as misanthropic as I am: we will all vanish into a black, black hole.

I take back what I said before. I prefer this scenario to Armageddon or Judgment Day. At least this way we would die because we were too smart and yet too stupid at the same time, which are entirely real human traits, as opposed to being sheep-like and waiting to be herded into some vast clash of civilizations while a thought we call god revels in our trivial misery. Actually wait, that also sounds pretty human and common…maybe that’s the real reason why we should be nuked.

Switch The Collider on, CERN brains, and to the rest of you I say: let us await salvation in the form of a big, ugly, black hole. Mark your calendars, pray that something goes wrong, and embrace the light.