Even Bigger Change
She was supposed to give birth today so…
…we arranged to go out last night.
I was excited and planned to wear my favorite satin pencil skirt.
It was supposed to be her last pre-maternal hangout.
At around 6 PM, I got an SMS.
“I am in a lot of pain. I don’t think I can go out. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Woo hoo! I’m gonna be an aunt again! You’ll make a wonderful mom. Love you :* ”
I then sat in my room wondering what will happen next.
At 1:20 AM I got another SMS.
“I did it! I gave birth to a baby boy at 9! His name is Laith and he is SO cute! It was OK!”
I stared into space.
My best friend is now a mother of another human being. A boy called Laith.
Happy. Puzzled. Curious. Reluctant.
I called her today.
“OMG! You can talk!”
…like I’ve never interacted with new moms, seven times before.
“Does it hurt? Are you in pain?”
“Yes. Stitches and all. But it’s alright.”
“OMG. You are a mom!”
“I look like crap. I want to get a manicure and a pedicure and have someone pluck my eyebrows.”
“You’re seriously thinking of these things?”
“I wanted to do these things before I went to the hospital. There was no time though.”
“Oh!”
New moms want normal things. I knew that but this was the first time I recognized it.
“My husband looks younger than I do.”
“You’re prettier than he is. How’s the baby?”
“He is good. Breastfeeding now. I don’t know if anything’s coming out though. ”
My best friend breastfeeds. For real. My best friend.
“Did you change his diapers yet?”
“No. Last night was my maternal honeymoon because the nurses did everything. Tonight is the real thing.”
“So, like, YOU’RE A MOM!!! I am so happy for you. But I can’t believe it until I see Laith.”
“Come over any time.”
I hung up and went to tell mom.
“Mom, she gave birth last night and yet talked to me on the phone!”
“Yeah, so?”
“So…nothing.”
You’d think I know the drill by now because I have been there for every new birth in the family. And I do know it. I saw my sisters and my brother’s wife right after they popped babies, saw what new moms do and don’t, what they like and what they dislike, and certainly knew that they can chat normally and crack jokes if need be.
But this was my best friend, who’s 8 days younger than I am, and that makes a world of difference. I mean, this means that I too can have a baby if I want to (which I don’t), and that fact seems to be very shocking to me because I have never considered it to be very true. It’s as if it has to be someone my age, someone I know very well and care a lot for, to go through these big milestones, for me to understand that I, too, can go through them at one point. A revelation.
I am an aunt, for the 8th time, and counting. These kids make me feel old.
I know what you mean. My little brother — two years younger than I — is getting married in 3 weeks. To me, the idea of getting married seems like a total fantasy, something other people do on TV.
I feel very… out of sync.