I’m still not sure why I decided to pick up blogging again. When I made the decision to take a break, I was pretty sure I will not revive this blog. I had many reasons to think so, most of which still stand now.
One of these reasons was/is my getting tired of what I call the gang mentality which plagues the Jordanian blogosphere. Everyone knows everyone else in person, it seems, and these connections develop into cliques which reproduce Jordanian society at large — complete with its social-economic-political-cultural maladies. I suppose you can argue that that’s exactly what social networking is about, connecting people, but wait a minute, I thought technology would empower us to think outside the box, not to bury our heads deep inside it. I thought technology would help us to craft a better model for our society to follow, to grow as individuals. That, to me, means no favoristic semi-exclusive gangs.
I was also dead wrong about my expectation to initiate and to have uncensored discussions through this blog. I myself censor my posts; I can’t express my political opinions openly for fear of persecution (and no, Jordanian “democracy” will not guarantee my safety), I can’t express my thoughts on religion as bluntly as I’d like, and I often hesitate before publishing posts about the situation of women in modern society for fear of being dismissed as “an angry man-hater.” Heck, I don’t even use my real name for the above mentioned reasons! If I am limited thus, how can I expect others to be any different?
Another, existentialist, reason which still stands today is the very nature of this blog. In months past, I felt my posts were a collection of unconnected opinions, personal accounts, and various clippings from here and there to illustrate a point or to be sarcastic. I still feel the same way, but I am more at peace with this now. This blog is part of who I am, and I am these things. I am sarcastic, I like writing and orange juice, I am slightly egocentric, I am pretty multi-layered and ever-changing, exactly like this blog.
Yet another reason is my own personal demon, that being a private matter I won’t discuss here at this point in time. Suffice to say that the cloud of despair with which I was plagued has lifted, at least temporarily. In addition to that, I was very busy in recent months, in a really, really good way and a really, really bad way. That usually left me exhausted or simply not interested in blogging and ultimately led to my decision to stop.
To balance things out, there were reasons why the time was right for me to resuscitate Tololy’s Box. To start with, I missed it. I guess it has become a serious hobby of sorts, an exercise in writing and a worthwhile activity. My favorite part about it is that it has become a register of my intellectual growth, for future reference.
I also felt like I had things to say which were not being said in the blogs I read. There were too many excellent links wasted, too many articles and posts neglected, and some issues were simply never brought up. I kept looking around trying to find posts treating some of these pivotal issues, to no avail. That was frustrating, but it encouraged me to come back so I can blog about what I find to be important, interesting, or plain bizarre.
Perhaps the most selfish reason of all is that I realized what this blog can do for me. I recognized its power and potential, especially when it comes to my desired career. I’m a practical person, and so I will shamelessly take advantage of this situation and work it to my benefit.
There. I said it. I’m thinking outside the box.
Wow. I am REALLY dancing now. Spur us on to take more risks, ya helweh.
I love the new design (Ya3nee, I don’t know how new is new… I’ve been out of the whole thing for months now).
Oh, and toz fe ay 7ad mesh 3agbo el entee bet2oolee.
Ghair keda, just keep writing until you don’t feel like it anymore!
I love your blog, and the way you write is amazing. I am glad you are back. I enjoy reading your blog. :)
Your list of reasons to stop blogging are in contrast, the best reasons to take up blogging again… you are anonymous here, say what you will.. Remember authority is always an illusion in the minds of those in power…
How bizarre…I was thinking about you just today.
(I’m dancing.)
Welcome back, although I am just now becoming aware of blog. I am a 61 year old father of two adult daughters with whom I share a passion for anime (that my wife is very forgiving of). I also teach night courses in popular culture. I was very interested, for that reason when my search for Lady Oscar (Rose of Versailles), the anime series, showed that the only current DVDs around of it were in Arabic. The subject matter and treatement seemed to me to be far from what would expect to be shown. . .your blog helped me to place this in context and was very interesting and perceptive. By the way, this series is now also on Animelive/archives/retro/Rose of Versailles (English subtitles). Many thanks and good luck to you.
Yay. It is the very randomness and dry wit of your blog that captured my interest to begin with! Long may you continue!
“I suppose you can argue that that’s exactly what social networking is about, connecting people, but wait a minute, I thought technology would empower us to think outside the box, not to bury our heads deep inside it.”
People attribute to much ‘magic’ to the Internet and technology. As if megabytes somehow have the power to trascend our psyches, as if cell-phones are the Great Liberators of the Proletariot. In and of themselves they are but mediums – like empty canvasses. The content on these mediums tends to reflect its authors & readers, in turn those authors tend to reflect their environment, their society & upbringing. Internet and technology don’t change societies, they reflect them. So if your environment is one of “favoristic semi-exclusive gangs” – so too may be your online community.
I think alot of the Internet’s percieved benevolence and goodness (since when do we apply morality to a medium?!) came from its early development, which required alot of cooperation that seemed very ‘un-capitalistic’ at the time. However open-source/cooperation/collaboration/social networks grew organically, more out of necessity than ‘working for the greater good of all mankind’. As more and more of society logs on I suspect the Internet will more and more look like society at large (I don’t remember the last time a controversial political debate thread went 3 days without somebody throwing in a profanity or some-odd juicy gift).
“I thought technology would help us to craft a better model for our society to follow, to grow as individuals.”
There are no shortcuts (pun fully intended) on the path to enlightenment… CTRL-ALT-DELETE and OUT…
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